Death to the Top Hat (please)

by Instant Noodle

A CENTENARIAN.

“This is the centenary of the tall hat.”—Daily News.

Centenarian.

A hundred years of hideousness,

Constricted brows, and strain, and stress!

And still, despite humanity’s groan,

The torturing, “tall-hat” holds its own!

What proof more sure and melancholy

Of the dire depths of mortal folly?

Mad was the hatter who invented

The demon “topper,” and demented

The race that, spite of pain and jeers,

Has borne it—for One Hundred Years!

(September 1890)

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