Death to the Top Hat (please)
by Instant Noodle
“This is the centenary of the tall hat.”—Daily News.
A hundred years of hideousness,
Constricted brows, and strain, and stress!
And still, despite humanity’s groan,
The torturing, “tall-hat” holds its own!
What proof more sure and melancholy
Of the dire depths of mortal folly?
Mad was the hatter who invented
The demon “topper,” and demented
The race that, spite of pain and jeers,
Has borne it—for One Hundred Years!