Lessons in Punmanship
by Instant Noodle
We have been favoured with the following announcement from Mr. Hood, which we recommend to the earnest attention of our subscribers:—
MR. T. HOOD, PROFESSOR OF PUNMANSHIP,
Begs to acquaint the dull and witless, that he has established a class for the acquirement of an elegant and ready style of punning, on the pure Joe-millerian principle. The very worst hands are improved in six short and mirthful lessons. As a specimen of his capability, he begs to subjoin two conundrums by Colonel Sibthorpe.
“The following is a specimen of my punning before taking six lessons of Mr. T. Hood:—
“Q. Why is a fresh-plucked carnation like a certain cold with which children are affected?
“A. Because it’s a new pink off (an hooping-cough).
“This is a specimen of my punning after taking six lessons of Mr. T. Hood:—
“Q. Why is the difference between pardoning and thinking no more of an injury the same as that between a selfish and a generous man?
“A. Because the one is for-getting and the other for-giving.”
N.B. Gentlemen who live by their wits, and diners-out in particular, will find Mr. T. Hood’s system of incalculable service.
Mr. H. has just completed a large assortment of jokes, which will be suitable for all occurrences of the table, whether dinner or tea. He has also a few second-hand bon mots which he can offer a bargain.
∴ A GOOD LAUGHER WANTED.