The Weather Forecast Subtext

by Instant Noodle

(By One who has watched the Promise and its Fulfilment.)

“Fine Summer Sunshine.” Get out your strongest umbrella.
“Hot and sultry.” Order in your winter stock of coals at once.
” Very fine.” Get into the wine-cellar to avoid the effects of the hurricane.
” Warm and dry.” Don’t venture half a dozen yards from home without an Ulster and a sou’-wester.
” Cold.” Summer clothing may be assumed with impunity.
” Very rough and windy.” Good time for smoking al freico, or playing lawn-tennis, as not a breath of air need be expeced.
” Hurricane.” Safe of a calm passage across the Channel.
” Prolonged wet and boisterous weather.” The best season for a nice trip into the country, as blue sky and gentle zephyrs may be too confidently expected
“Exceedingly changeable” Fixed weather one way or the other.

(January 13th 1883)