How to capture a wild taxi-driver

by Instant Noodle

  CORRESPONDENT recently alleged that he distinctly remembered seeing a taxi cab pull up in the Strand when hailed by a pedestrian. The story is not generally believed, the only credible theory being that the cab must have run out of petrol.

Taxi-drivers are so much like human beings that it takes an expert to tell the difference.

Caught young, they are sometimes so tame that they will take tips out of your hand.

Great care should be exercised in stalking a taxi-cab. It is a good plan to walk up behind it. If you approach it from the front you are apt to frighten the timid thing away.

Some people recommend the big-game hunter’s way of staring the object straight in the eyes. Should he attempt to jump the cab at you, step aside smartly.

Another method is to wait till the cab is nearly level with you and then take a run and hurl yourself through the window. Seat yourself at once and pretend that you have been there all the time.

Should the driver charge you largely in excess of his legal fare, tell him that you have nothing less than a five-pound note with you. If you have an honest face and speak kindly he will probably accept this amount.

If upon being offered the legal fare the driver should show the white of his eyes and set back his ears at a dangerous angle it is well to send for an interpreter to take down what he says, to be used in evidence at your inquest.

(October 23rd, 1918)